Piece of Mind

moved

2006-06-08T09:49:00.000+08:00

blog.jeremyisaaclee.com

head home

2006-06-02T16:49:00.000+08:00

it's friday... and i've spent four work weeks in intel already... time does fly when you're havin' a great time... that's another way of sayin' my internship is laidback and relaxed... had lunch in the posh oversea restaurant with my group of colleagues... i'm not sure if it's affliated to the one in ipoh but anyway... it was rather okay for me as i think the thai lunch last friday was more to my taste...

heading home in a couple of hours time... the long weekend is certainly most welcome... if i had a laptop i'd bring home my scripting work too cos it gets interesting when i have an idea and want to test the code out... but i guess i shall leave them for next week... signs of a potential workaholic perhaps?

up

2006-05-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

quite a good exercise it was... hiking halfway up penang hill... through the jungle trail... and descending by the road... the steep downhill slope taxed my already tired legs... it was a fight against gravity all the way down... i normally would be too lazy to wake up and exercise... what more going all the way to youth park to start the hike... but it was my supervisor's suggestion so... :)

ceo

2006-05-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

what have i done in the past week of work? oh well... i finished my first perl script... went for a lecture on processor packaging... and attended an employee forum with intel's ceo... yup... the man himself was in town... it was a good experience to be able to follow the proceedings ... not too mention a rare opportunity... unless of course i work here in the future :)

i went to cherry blossom... a thai restaurant... for lunch with the colleagues from my department today... the food was simply delicious... and unlike anythin' i've tasted before... probably because i can't remember having thai food before anyway haha... definitely worth another visit sometime soon...

too many dvds to watch... too little time... ;)

ballads

2006-05-22T00:02:00.000+08:00

the one thing i like most about penang is the fact that it's an island... haha... sounds lame but anyway... it's nice to hang out at beach cafes and places overlooking the waters... well... even my workplace is just by the straits... and e-gate not only has a nice alfresco atmosphere but is also near the seaside which makes it all the nicer...

was at flix for a couple of hours to watch yet another acoustic performance... she sings and plays really well i must say... mesmerizing indeed...

acoustic winds

2006-05-21T11:30:00.000+08:00

it kinda sucks havin' to live in the apartment and not have a parkin' space in the compound... hence the daily competing-to-get-a-space routine... well... i've kinda gotten used to it anyway... so... but when it's rainin' heavily like it did yesterday... it's a hassle to walk out and alomost impossible to do so without getting drenched... even with an umbrella in hand... the blowing winds will sprinkle you with raindrops... and try to pull your umbrella away... and i haven't used an umbrella in a long while cos i normally dash in and out of the car in situations like these... but i can't really dash over such a distance... hehe...

rice by the sea is quite a nice place... decor and facilities could be better but i think they just shifted to this new location... or maybe not... my friend has a weekly acoustic performance there so i went to check it out... oh well... she's a pretty good singer i must say... and i haven't got the chance to listen to her sing and play guitar before... it was really nice... :)

the garage and the surrounding area were packed and happenin'... well... i wouldn't expect less as it was a saturday night... and before u ask... no... no raids... i didn't even enter any of the clubs in the first place... just had supper at the mamak across the street...

perl is what i need to brush up on as i've had my first assignment already... some script writing... i thought i would be able to get much work done this weekend but since i'm out like practically the whole day... i guess i'll try to get it done during the course of the coming week...

beach?... i haven't been there yet... much as i would like to... thought of goin' there today but i guess i'll be somewhere else... well... that's about all for now...

115

2006-05-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

115 degrees celsius... that's the temp of my overheated amd when all of a sudden my cpu fan stopped for some mysterious reason... luckily i could start it again after waiting for it to cool down... if it had really burnt then i guess i would be shopping for a dual-core now... haha... luckily for me my pocket is still intact... on the other hand... after a few hours of shredding two days back... my korg switched off by itself and i couldn't get it to work again... i still haven't sent it for repair... and i'm not sure if it's the adapter problem or not... hopefully it isn't the stompbox itself as it will be quite a hassle to have it fixed... or worse still... it can't be fixed...

three days of orientation... at least the chairs in the lecture room were high-backed so i could lean and doze off... ;) i did sleep a few hours in total i think... not to sure... well anyway it's back to work tomorrow... actual work... probably start some hands-on programming or somethin'... i dunno... but it's time to shift gears...

even though the hours are long and i don't have enough sleep... i kinda like it here... haha... like i said... a change in environment is much welcome... and the blues are slowly drifting away... :)

517

2006-05-14T23:28:00.000+08:00

i just couldn't resist a good bargain...a half-price 517... haha ;) well... my parents left around noon today... after the usual visits to various shopping malls, restaurants and hawker stalls... a nice weekend... one of the few precious moments of late that i have with my family... well it's back to work tomorrow so... i'd better not stay up... probably watch an episode of some show first... yet undecided ;)

the capital

2006-05-13T02:50:00.000+08:00

quality time

2006-05-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

my parents and eldest bro came up for a visit today... so i'd be spendin' the weekend with 'em obviously... it's really great to have 'em around especially since we can celebrate mother's day together on sunday... and also take some time off from our busy routines... besides chinese new year and christmas i don't really recall any other ocassion whereby all of us are together... even now the lineup is incomplete... such is our schedule... so anyway... i guess it will be a weekend well-spent...

i had trouble staying up late last night although i wanted to since today's a holiday... but i ended up dozing off while my friend was havin' supper... guess i'm just used to goin' early to bed nowadays... :)

oh... i have yet to go to the beach... haha... probably next weekend will be a good time... to sink my feet in the sand and hear the crashing waves... :)

exhausted

2006-05-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

i actually don't have many tasks to carry out at work... besides readin' up a little and learnin' the processes involved in the production of chipsets particularly the validation part... so anyway... i attended a staff meeting today... it was more of a briefing and update session by the manager actually regarding the latest reshuffling in some parts of the management... and some other stuff... took a tour of the production floor where the action happens... the actual manufacturing, inspection, validation and sorting of the chips... whole lot of high-tech equipment and precise robots in motion... i'll spare the details cos not everyone will be interested anyway ;)

after work... the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak... eyes are tired from barely enough sleep... still managed to hang out a little though... but i think i'd rather rest in most of the time... :)

half past seven

2006-05-09T07:37:00.000+08:00

and i'm already at the office... seems like i'm online for most of the day... there's nothin' much to do yet and besides it's not even working hours officially so... :) went to eat at a couple of places when i reached on sunday... great food... pig's innards porridge at new lane pretty alright... i was pretty reluctant to try it at first but since a couple of my friends were havin' it so i decided i should try for myself too... :) i'm tempted to take snapshots around the plant but i guess i'll reserve that for another time... or ask somebody with a more discreet camera to do so... well... goin' off to do some reading on chipsets... microprocessor architecture and the sort... and learn some linux and perl as well i think... not too sure :P

intel inside

2006-05-08T11:28:00.000+08:00

or rather... inside intel... yup... it's the first day of my internship and i'm here bloggin' away with so much time on my hands... no they haven't assigned me any tasks... all i have is a powerful ibm server at my disposal... it's a 3ghz xeon with 3.5gb of ram... well... it's pretty cool here so far... :) that's all for the moment... it's not like i actually have WORK to get back to anyway... haha... just msn n surfin'... what a life...

defeat

2006-05-06T00:55:00.000+08:00

after a struggle to the very end... we lost to the danes... only the doubles delivered... contrary to the prediction i read in nst... seems like even their coach didn't know them too well after all... so... i'll be drivin' up on sunday... lookin' forward to it... it feels so good not to be stuck down south with everythin' cloudin' my mind... well anyway... hope i don't relapse... haha... i sound like i'm tryin to abstain from drugs or booze or somethin'... :) well i think love is pretty intoxicating too... the past week's been pretty peaceful... catchin' up with some friends... eatin' at the various fave places... watched a movie... and one more episode of grey's anatomy to finish... ;) a tranquil break is all i need...

phalanxercise

2006-05-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

did anyone actually manage to finish their thousand-sms bulk yesterday? well... maxis' sms networks were pretty jammed from evening onwards in ipoh... or at least in the areas that i were in... cos i couldn't get a single message through from five onwards or so... all in all... i managed to send 150 throughout the day... most of it were sent during the first few hours after i woke up to discover that all my friends were in an sms frenzy already... well... it was still worth it anyway... nevertheless... the inability of maxis to handle such heavy traffic totally defeats the purpose of connectivity... however i heard that in jb the network was pretty alright... lookin' forward to the next manic monday anyone? ;)

the last dinner

2006-05-01T16:21:00.000+08:00

it was a real hectic final day in jb... but anyway... at least i had a nice dinner at george & dragon to finish the semester with :) more pix for u guys to drool over...

drive

2006-05-01T15:30:00.000+08:00

off to the north

2006-04-29T03:00:00.000+08:00

its three in the a.m. and four hours from now... i have to wake up and start a long day's journey... lack of sleep is gonna affect me somewhat but let's pray everythin's safe and sound at the end of the day... oh well... today (or rather yesterday) was a packed day too... and yup... i didn't have enough sleep the previous night either... too much nonsense-thinkin' i guess... well... there's been a bit of everythin' throughout the day... a bit of disappointment... a bit of enjoyment... quite a bit of driving here and there... a bit of packing... a bit of shifting... a little heartbrokenness... a little laughter... and of course... with LITTLE sleep... so the day i have been waiting for has come... i need some rest now... let's hope the next few months will be great :) let's be a little optimistic shall we?

wine and dine

2006-04-28T10:40:00.000+08:00

a cause for celebration... the end of my finals... ;) we dined at friday's... and afterwards my friends finished a bottle of martini which i had to miss out on sadly... oh well... cos i had to adjourn somewhere else... oh what a pity... i think the martini would have been more enjoyable than the tea i had elsewhere...

excerpt

2006-04-28T02:38:00.000+08:00

if the personal message above sounds familiar... that's because u read it in one of my poems :P ... and btw... it's not my personal message but rather another friend's...

reunion

2006-04-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

had some kind of a reunion dinner with the bunch of ipoh utm-ers... which was pretty cool considering we've never really gone out all together before... and finally we've found the opportunity to do so... how time flies... one of them will be graduating this year and it only seems like yesterday that we were all freshies... hmmm... maybe not exactly yesterday but you get the picture... i can still remember freshman year when a few of us will take the bus downtown on weekends and hang out... haha... now that most of us have cars... we kinda hang out less together... haha... but it's alright though... great time to meet up before everyone goes separate ways for their internship or holidays... come tomorrow... my fourth year officially ends... along with my final paper... time to revise... no more reminiscing...

ain't enough

2006-04-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

there's a danger in loving somebody too much... as the song goes... well it's very true... both my friend and i were ranting about our own issues and i concluded that you'll just have to let go when it's not heading into the right direction... cos being overconcerned when the other person couldn't care less never has any benefits... but we all still walk down the same path in the name of love... don't we...
i have saturday to look forward to... cos that's when i'll start my long drive home... with my good friend to accompany me... already we have planned where to stop over along the way for some chow... when i finally do i'll probably post up the pix... and if all goes as planned... it might be a two-car convoy :)
robotics... the final hurdle for this rollercoaster of a term... which i've managed to pull through anyway... well... it's all in the head/heart really... if u can set your mind straight then it'll all be good... but it's easier said than done of course... generally people are tempted to follow their heart even when their mind tells them otherwise... on the contrary... robots follow their programmed instructions faithfully... setting the mood for some robotic revision i am... but i think i'll end up procrastinatin' till tomorrow... :)

five

2006-04-24T17:41:00.000+08:00

five more days and then i can escape from the mess i created for myself here... i need a change of environment... meet my old friends... meet new people... do somethin' new... hang out at the beach... whatever... so lookin' forward to a change... a new place means new distractions... new sights... a fresh start in a way... although the ten-week internship stint is not a permanent job but nevertheless... i think i need to refocus cos i've just been too crazy over... hmmm... i need a break... run away... leave it all...

ain't seen

2006-04-23T01:19:00.000+08:00

no, i ain't seen love like that
and i got people telling me to let her go
don't let it turn you around
tomorrow's comin' and you'll never know
the one that you lost may be found

mr. big - ain't seen love like that

flame

2006-04-21T13:50:00.000+08:00

another birthday celebration at midnight... :) party first... study later... april babies are all having bday celebrations in uni this time around cos for the past three years it has always been during the holidays... a much-needed distraction... and an excuse for some beer... hehe...

silicon

2006-04-21T02:15:00.000+08:00

just wasted the whole day after my first paper... and i haven't started revising for saturday morn's one... procrastination to the max... one sem's syllabus in approximately twelve hours... hmmm... ;) in less than ten days i should be back home safely... so looking forward to it... just a week's worth of rest and being around family... one week which i should really cherish... cos there's no place like home... i should probably retire early (0230hrs?) and start revising first thing when i wake up... let's hope my determination and discipline don't go missing... it's hard to concentrate at times when you're hit by sudden pangs of negativity... :( one down... four to go...

migration?

2006-04-19T04:47:00.000+08:00

jeremyisaaclee.wordpress.com

i'm still weighing the pros and cons of both blogs... and if i should migrate... anyway... feel free to visit both :) i have exported all my archives there already anyway... well... we shall see...

so much

2006-04-18T21:47:00.000+08:00

so much to cover for the next ten days...
so many phases in the past five months...
so much she doesn't know about...
so many words i didn't say...
so much to be grateful for...
so many things i still wish for...
so much to look forward to...
so many dreams unrealized...

silent sorrow

2006-04-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

she will never know...
all the sleepless nights...
all the tearless cries...
face down on the pillow...
smothered by sorrow...

missing her every minute...
he doesn't want her to know...
inside he shall keep it...
for another tomorrow...

resurrection

2006-04-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

it was just a casual remark but to me it meant a lil more... to me it meant that she realized somethin' i knew all along... it meant that she didn't forget what i'd told her before... it meant that she still cared a little at least... at first it felt nice to hear those words from her... but then if it took so long for it to dawn upon her... the situation is quite clear... and it doesn't feel so nice after all...

has the sun set?

2006-04-15T14:48:00.000+08:00

has the sun set on the beautiful day we had?
are memories all that's left of what we shared?
was it me? or was it you?
the sky has changed to black from blue

maybe you were just too tied up
the many times you stood me up
the past is gone, let it be
to my future i hold the key

quaint

2006-04-14T01:11:00.000+08:00

wed... had dinner at old town kopitiam... the name of the shop explains the decor and theme of the outlet... as well as the cuisine... and btw... the toast bread u see is actually an order that arrived at our table by mistake... and since i had a cam in hand i took a snapshot of it before it was returned... :P i am still trying to comprehend the full intrinsic meanin' of gubra... and the message that the director was trying to convey through the potrayal of the lives of two seemingly unrelated groups of people... and the show definitely could have used some subtitles for the sake of the non-trilingual majority... it's good friday...

image

2006-04-13T05:00:00.000+08:00

i keep your photograph and i know it serves me well seether - broken got a picture of you i carry in my heart close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark lonestar - not a day goes by i had a picture of you in my mind boyzone - picture of you our picture taken yesterday slowly starts to fade away there's got to be an answer vonray - inside out

bottled

2006-04-12T02:45:00.000+08:00

there is so much bottled up inside all of us... sometimes it's hard to find a way to release them and let go... is it better to stay silent or to express the truth? it's a tough call indeed... would it be better to suffer in silence and keep things the way they are... or to take the risk of rocking the boat... indecision... i think i'm better at bottling up now than ever before... somehow i hope that this turns out well... and i can finally suppress everything completely... exams are just around the corner and i can't really afford to be distracted and down in the dumps... if it's true love... it must be free... and hard as it may be... if it's time to let go... let it be...

love suffers long and is kind love does not envy love does not parade itself is not puffed up does not behave rudely does not seek its own is not provoked thinks no evil does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things love never fails 1 corinthians 13:4-8

fri on mon

2006-04-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

the set meal in tgif was worth it... not to mention extremely large... the dishes on the left column were those of my set... and those on the right were my friend's... left set: fried calamari, fish & chips, triple choc fudge brownies right set: sesame jack chicken strips, citrus fish fillet with rice, some choc fudge with ice-cream dessert and a huge glass of mudslide cocktail to wash it all down!

day of rest

2006-04-10T02:53:00.000+08:00

after the ordeal... and a long day out on saturday to city square, danga bay, church, jj and ayub... i decided to catch up on some sleep on sunday... a day of rest after all... an interestin' site for some of you out there who survive on alcohol... and others who are less dependent... here it is... its three... i should be in bed...

the great escape

2006-04-08T12:46:00.000+08:00

my night in short... 0930... mcd 1030... bus station 1130... mcd this would have been just another night for me... until the decision to visit a pub in sutera... 0115... b pub 0200... police raid 0300... urine test -> positive... handcuffed... police truck 0330... detained in narcotics dept 0440... freed without bail

had there not been divine intervention and persistency on my friend's part in convincing the team of officers... i'm sure i'd be inside for days or weeks at end while waiting for the more accurate second round of lab tests... more on it here... i don't know how it turned out positive... a sickness? added ingredients in food? i am curious to know... and for the record... no i don't do drugs... after being cuffed and locked... and unsure of the period of detainment and outcome in the future... nothing beats the feeling of walking away... and taste freedom in the air... things could have been much worse if the officers were uncooperative and turned a deaf ear to our pleas... what would become of me then? it's a shuddering thought...

4

2006-04-08T05:58:00.000+08:00

i didn't realise i got tagged last week or so... anyway here it is 4 jobs tgv levi's home-tutor intel intern (soon) 4 movies i'd repeatedly watch the matrix trilogy (none) 4 places i've lived ipoh garden ksds jln pulai 50 jln pulai 79 4 fave tv shows prison break house friends futurama 4 vacation destinations sg pg kl mlk 4 daily-visited sites gmail friendster mininova frets 4 fave foods fried chicken fried yong tau foo crackers ny cheesecake french fries 4 places i'd rather be at ny nz tokyo dream theater's studio

hangin' out/on

2006-04-07T11:24:00.000+08:00

been hangin' out as usual now and then at mcd... and of course... not forgettin' our new-found love for archery...

been hangin' on a string... strugglin' to get through each day... and none of the stuff below can make it all go away...

string

2006-04-06T00:49:00.000+08:00

i can't be hangin' on to a string forever it's a matter of time before i come crashing down it's hard to walk away from the memories when i don't know why they've become history putting in so much effort and concern has yielded nothing but a cold shoulder why is it so hard to be a little nicer? aren't we worth much more than this?

s.o.s.

2006-04-05T21:22:00.000+08:00

help me face my worst fear help me get through the night help me have peace of mind help me learn to be still pull me from this anguish free me from this bondage save me from this confusion breathe life into me again

losing grip

2006-04-05T13:15:00.000+08:00

what if the cracks were due to gripping too tightly? holding on to something more tightly so that it wouldn't slip away isn't always the solution... for it might just crack and break under pressure... as in the case of an egg... but how would i know if the grip is too tight or too loose? either way all would be lost... or maybe there was never much to lose in the first place... if only things were simpler... and straightforward... but how often is it easy in life? losing grip... losing everything... that would be the worst... other people have different opinions than mine... i am more pessimistic... but i should know best... or is that just what i think? i don't believe there were signs... but others believe otherwise... how can i travel the extra mile uphill when i keep on sliding down? there is so much weight on my back that i'll have to unload some off here... i wish everything was still going forward unlike now... somehow i don't have high hopes but i'm still hoping against odds they say... it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all... that's probably what makes us human... but the losing part must also be one of the worst times of one's life... but if it is part and parcel of human relationships, there's no escaping it... to live in a solitary shell would be far worse i think... there's no escaping the blood, sweat and tears... everything needs effort... failure must be faced with composure and closure... a rough journey to traverse... but i sure enough have to do it...

bond of friendship

2006-04-05T03:36:00.000+08:00

peaks and valleys

2006-04-04T19:00:00.000+08:00

i'm not really good in interpersonal relationships i guess... somehow i can't maintain friendships as how i would like them to be... i guess i'm not the only one... well... there are always some points when you're extremely close to a friend but after a while... circumstances somehow change and before you know it... you guys have drifted apart... it's happened so many times since i was a kid... up till now... but what can be done? i guess this is just a natural occurence but sometimes... you'd wish it doesn't happen... but sadly it does happen to me anyway... whether it's an individual or a group of buddies... somehow you can't juggle your time and balance your priorities so well that you'll have time for everyone... and that's when the inevitable gap forms... i'm hoping and praying that not another break occurs... cos i can already see the cracks

grey sky evening

2006-04-03T17:10:00.000+08:00

as i'm typing this the sky's overcast... and i can hear thunder in the distance... my roomie earlier told me about some jog plans... guess it won't work out today... well the wind blowing into my room is much cooler now... so... that's a relief...

one more month from now... things will be quite different... to what extent i'm unsure though... what i'm saying seems redundant... cos circumstances change everyday obviously... but i'm sure some of you at least will know what i'm trying to say... well... i have a tendency of not makin' myself clear... so if no one does und... nvm... tomorrow by avril is currently playin'... a fitting song for my current state...

sail

2006-04-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

as he sits by the pier she is no longer here the masts were raised the ships have sailed silently he reflects on the future all forlorn a thousand years couldn't rewind it back to the start a thousand tears would not have moved her heart slowly he tries to swallow the bitter truth and sorrow

evergreen

2006-04-02T14:08:00.000+08:00

two three four... tell the people what she wore... much to my surprise a friend just told me that she's into all these oldies... haha... i guess she would enjoy my dad's cd n karaoke video collection... it's a pretty hot afternoon and to make it worse... i went to have laksa for lunch at the roadside stall in tmn u... and the whole world knows how spices make me sweat... slackin'... relaxin'... enjoyin' all the time... nevertheless... somethin's missin'...

dusk to dawn

2006-04-01T17:35:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i hung out from dusk to dawn... today was one of such days...

was in mcd24 yet again around 1130 last night with a few friends... hung out for a couple of hours... made a trip to jb downtown and just took a walk around... and ended up in mcd24 again till 8 in the morning today... as i sat for hours chattin' away... i watched as the sky turned from black to blue... i was there as the crowd in mcd slowly dwindled from gangs of nightbird youth to senior citizens and familes having breakfast... coke... fries... sundae... chicken... fish... i had 'em all as the night progressed to day... i was even showin' my fellow guitarist some scales on the guitar at one point... and this is how i spent the first third of my saturday...

turn

2006-03-31T14:54:00.000+08:00

disappointment is imminent as the road takes a turn sacrifices have been made so much still unsaid this isn't a one-way street i'm taking the backseat are they going to fade? regret if i stayed? it is never easy to be locked out without a key trying hard to find the ties that bind expectations unfulfilled go the extra mile i will after the sun and the rain nothing left but pain?

mcd

2006-03-31T04:28:00.000+08:00

let me try to recap my mcd visits this week... 1... sun 0100 2... sun 1130 3... tue 1300 4... thu 0000 & 0100 5... thu 1630 6... fri 0230 i really need to find another place to hang out... but i doubt i will...

candles

2006-03-30T14:52:00.000+08:00

i went to two mcd24 outlets in an hour...

the first was in taman sutera... for my coursemate's birthday celebration... as u can clearly see from the pix... we were all there at midnight... then at one... i was in the usual mcd24... just for a brief moment though... there had just been another party there too... at three... i reached home and tried to get back to studying... at four... i guessed it was time to sleep at eight... i was clueless about my test... not entirely but mostly.... but hey... at least i had fun :)

silence

2006-03-28T17:35:00.000+08:00

tryin' hard to keep my sanity throughout this silence... so anyway... i have been wastin' my time doin' stuff other than revisin'... which is gonna end up in screwed-up results this time around... havin' drinks in mcd... dream on... night after night... wonder where i'll be tonight... kinda cool that i just woke up awhile ago and already two of my pals have made dinner n supper plans... so in between my outings i had better open my robotics book before the day is over... i actually composed an sms poem today... early in the morning as i was rushing for robotics... a sudden moment of inspiration... and sent it to my friend in kl after typing it out in class itself... hehe... and she said it was real sweet... she must have liked it cos she went on to crap about some stuff... true to her funny self... i have this secret hope that the poem might become popular and end up being forwarded back to me one day ;)

fight

2006-03-26T15:15:00.000+08:00

can't fight these feelings that won't go away trying hard to pull myself through the day as hard as i try to runaway with all my might there is no place anywhere left for me to hide the stars twinkle brilliantly up in the sky can't escape these thoughts as days go by wondering when i'll stop living a lie hoping i'll never have to say goodbye

day out

2006-03-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

pretty tiring saturday... tried my hand at archery for the first time with a couple of friends... kinda arm-straining at first... but it's definitely pretty enjoyable...

and was out to church... mamak... jj... no.1... mcd... and that's my saturday in short... nothin' to elaborate... :)

persevere

2006-03-25T12:53:00.000+08:00

at times life is wicked and i just can't see the light a silver lining sometimes isn't enough to make some wrongs seem right whatever life brings i've been through everything and now i'm on my knees again at times life's unfair and you know it's plain to see hey god i know i'm just a dot in this world have you forgot about me? whatever life brings i've been through everything and now i'm on my knees again but i know i must go on although i hurt i must be strong because inside i know that many feel this way children don't stop dancing believe you can fly away...away am i hiding in the shadows? forget the pain and forget the sorrows creed - don't stop dancing

fluctuate

2006-03-25T01:25:00.000+08:00

the only interesting event i saw at the convo fair was the minibike racing... those bikes are really tiny and fast... and they were still racing even though it was past midnight... ironic in a uni where the admin is always so uptight and overzealous in enforcing nonsensical rulings... i'm listenin' to red letters by dc talk... it does bring back some memories... of a time in high school... nothin' particularly interesting though... just realised i haven't kept in touch with a friend for quite some time... is there a rewind button somewhere to take a walk down memory lane?

good & bad

2006-03-24T12:24:00.000+08:00

i skipped the first class of today... and woke up to find that my roomie collected my test paper for me... and what a pleasant surprise... full marks... after four years here i think this is a first... cool... i attended the second class of today... and the lecturer was also distributing our test sheets... despite this test being an open-book one... i literally flunked it... not unexpected though... songs on my current playlist: youth group - forever young imogen heap - hide and seek yellowcard - only one lostprophets - last train home lifehouse - everything what happened to my usual prog rock? :(

torrentmeister

2006-03-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

a vital book for newbies... most people won't actually need a whole book i think... :)

party

2006-03-23T11:13:00.000+08:00

weight

2006-03-23T00:34:00.000+08:00

lana said to clark... you look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders... i don't have superpowers like clark but it definitely feels heavy for me now... michael said to lincoln... have a little faith... i'm trying hard to escape my own prison... johnny said to dennis... there's always the chance she feels the same way... is there? p.s. quotes from smallville, prison break & the o.c. respectively

rat

2006-03-22T18:06:00.000+08:00

the long-awaited episode 14 of prison break is out! terrific episode with a lot of suspense... and touching scenes... totally enjoyed the whole 42 mins of it... i think many of my friends can barely wait to watch it too... on the other hand... episode 16 of the o.c. has this great remix of the classic song... forever young... which got me hooked... especially since i'm in the mood for ballads nowadays ;) time for dinner... can't think of any new places to break the usual routine of food stalls... hmmm...

turmoil

2006-03-22T01:16:00.000+08:00

but there's still tomorrow forget the sorrow and i can be on the last train home watch it pass the day as it fades away no more time to care no more time, today lostprophets - last train home

mosaic

2006-03-21T20:42:00.000+08:00

finally... here are some pics from the mosaic music festival in sg i went to last week with a trio of friends... i felt more like writing in the last few posts hence the slight delay... didn't wanna post so much stuff up at once... so i decided on pouring out first... :) anyway... it was a pop tart performance we went to... they're a sg dj outfit which spins indie records... have i got the facts right? before u ask... no i am not a fan of them... and after watching their performance... i was far from thrilled... no offence to their supporters though ;) instead... i just enjoyed the upbeat atmosphere... lively crowd... and stunning night view at the esplanade... :)

grateful

2006-03-20T03:46:00.000+08:00

i'm grateful for my friend who was there when i needed one most... one phone call from thousands of miles away which made a difference... u know who u are... but u dun read my blog often ;) but u did take the time to read a few months' of archives in one go... i'll probably tell u to read this... hehe... for now... it's a relief to have shared my burden... a friend in need is a friend indeed

joy/sorrow

2006-03-20T01:47:00.000+08:00

it's been quite a weekend... met up with four of my hometown buddies in four different occasions for meals/drinks... to update each other with stuff... chat... basically just an excuse for me to hang out... ;) just came back from mcd24 for the fourth time in three days... birthday celebration... kind of a surprise one... a joyous gathering it was... i definitely did meet a whole lot of friends over the past few days... which is really something to be happy about... isn't it? come to think of it... for the past four days i've been hangin' out from sg to mcd to jj and here and there... and at the end of the day (read: now)... i'm feelin' lost... sadly... if only things were so simple for me... yeah i know i should be countin' my blessings and delight in them... but i just can't seem to be joyful as i should be... i really appreciate all the friends who have been there with me but nevertheless... some things in life just can't be solved so easily... thoughts and feelings that just won't go away... i really need to pull myself up from this pit i fell into... and i have to do it alone... ____________________________________________________________________

i carry a smile when i'm broken in two and i'm nobody without someone like you i'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me i lie awake it's a quarter past three i''m screamin' at night as if i thought you'd hear me yeah my heart is callin' you and nobody knows it but me the tony rich project - nobody knows

distant

2006-03-18T18:28:00.000+08:00

here I go scream my lungs out and try to get to you you are my only one i let go there's just no one that gets me like you do you are my only my only one yellowcard - only one

into her eyes

2006-03-18T16:00:00.000+08:00

when he looks into her eyes he sees a well into her angelic soul within a window overlooking a bed of roses a path flanked by cherry blossoms a peaceful dwelling free of worries when he looks into her eyes he sees the sunset in the middle of the ocean the stars that twinkle brightly at night the rainbow after a heavy downpour the realization of his lifelong dream

bewildered

2006-03-18T11:31:00.000+08:00

i shall not make this blog a regular review of news articles but some weird article in the star caught my attention... so... entitled "decision not to date pays off"... it goes on to detail how a student in penang decided not to date ever since he stepped into secondary school... and how his "years of sacrifice" have paid off after having obtained 4As in the STPM... however... in the same article... there is also mention of his straight As schoolmate who on the other hand has a gf... lesson learnt... straight As and dating are independent events... NOT mutually exclusive... sorry for using stats jargon... hehe... friday... reached home from across the causeway at 0430hrs... couldn't make it for 0800 class so ended up goin' for the 1100 one only... slept a bit more and then had chow in mcd24... and dessert in secretrecipe... lunch was durin' teatime and dinner was durin' suppertime... which i had in mcd24 (again!) so it was all fast food... not that i'm not sick of burgers yet... just that i prefer the air-con and ambience of the place... which is a relief during scorching afternoons... like yesterday... it's my big bro's bday today... so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! no he doesn't read this blog tho'... :)

disorder

2006-03-17T12:28:00.001+08:00

i have been sleepin' less than usual... partly because of my late nights and early risings for class... and i can't seem to make up for lost sleep in the afternoons... which are pretty hot... and also somehow or rather... ppl will start to sms and make plans for outings/whatever when i'm in bed... and partly because of... hmmm... the blues... i have been eatin' less than usual... which is quite disturbing cos my appetite isn't normal as it used to be... frog meat with dried chilli and ginger in geylang early this morning was really nice though... and it was my first time eating an amphibian... as far as i can recall... ;) there's one thing i have been doin' a little more than usual though... thinking... and that's probably a cause of the other deficiencies

red

2006-03-16T14:30:00.000+08:00

the blog might look different a little... but little has changed about anythin' else... summer is gone with the wind... dry leaves carpet the ground... will hope be merely an illusion?

autumn

2006-03-16T00:41:00.000+08:00

well... the weather's so scorching the leaves are beginning to wither and fall... in a way it looks like autumn... and since there is so much greenery (and brownery?) in campus... it is quite a nice sight... i wouldn't have noticed it if not for my friend's casual remark... everyday brings with it fresh new adventures... lessons to be learnt... and trials that must be overcome... a few pals of mine are not goin through the best of times... well... the tree and its branches might seem bare and dead now... but spring will surely come along to bring renewal and revival of life... and that's just the way nature works isn't it... so... it might be fallen leaves now... but there's always an opportunity to turn over a new leaf... and sprout into a greener one...

shine

2006-03-15T13:38:00.000+08:00

a full sun and a full moon radiantly shining and glowing these days and nights have been brighter and happier

rotfl

2006-03-14T01:01:00.000+08:00

ROTFL

i was so tickled that i was literally rolling on the floor laughing my insides out until it hurt so bad... and even my eyes were teary... was the joke funny? to me it definitely struck a resonant chord with my funny bone... all i can say is i made a malaprop but instead of me being targeted for my blunder (which is normally the case for any blunder-er)... someone else ended up being the butt of the joke... or maybe it wasn't exactly the person but just the whole situation at that point of time... only two ppl out there will know what this post means so i'll just move on to somethin' else... was having drinks with my fellow bassist and his final-year buddies... and they were talkin' bout their projects... which they are currently in the midst of... and it's kinda worrying for me... cos i know next to nothing on what to do for mine... four months away and i'm concerned already... i should really start to research or somethin'...

would it be?

2006-03-13T04:55:00.000+08:00

if no tears were shed would laughter be joyful? if there was no absence would presence be cherished? if there were no difficulties would there be gratitude? if there was no pain would there be love?

difference

2006-03-12T12:26:00.000+08:00

it only takes one person to create a huge impact to make the waves roar to break down the walls to revive the drooping spirit to capture the heart to cheer the weary to comfort the lonely to make a difference

only?

2006-03-11T00:55:00.000+08:00

love is only a feeling drifting away when I'm in your arms I start believing it's here to stay but love is only a feeling anyway the darkness - love is only a feeling ______________________________________________________________

my two tests are over... i got a great internship offer... and at the end of the week... i am still feelin' the blues... and it's a real enthusiasm-killer :(

temperamental

2006-03-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

one second he's normal the next he's mental fighting this obsession is his current mission he looks around there's no one to be found voices in his head torment him to his bed sleep deprived barely alive soldiering on is it all forlorn?

from the sky

2006-03-09T19:35:00.000+08:00

this is downtown JB... at the bottom right corner is the causeway... and at the top centre is city square... probably the best-known landmark in the city...

the link between a developed nation... and another one struggling to...

stulang laut... the white building on the right is the zon regency hotel which is part of the duty free zone... where cash-strapped students like me get their supply of drinks...

custard

2006-03-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

oh guys don't worry... this is not another of my poems again... if it were... i think the only word to rhyme with custard would be b**tard... and that isn't too nice... instead this is a tribute to the world's luckiest custard of which i had two servings today... thanks to my friend who lives a few blocks away (who might not wanna be named due to her low-profile complex behavior? :P) thanks anyway... u know who u are... burnt dozens of dvds last night... and will be ripping some more tonight... in the midst of revision... last-minute revision as usual... that's about all... if i'm in the mood there might just be another poem... let's hope not... haha

broken

2006-03-08T00:50:00.000+08:00

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well I wanna hold you high and steal your pain 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome And I don't feel like I am strong enough 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome And I don't feel right when you're gone away You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore Seether - Broken

stand

2006-03-07T19:58:00.000+08:00

he stands in the middle of the street surrounded by throngs of people looking around he finds himself in the midst of the crowd yet all alone he stands by himself a stranger in a foreign land watching the world pass him by no one stops to listen his cries go unheard he stands silently watching her from a distance watching her pass him by the sands of time are being washed away he stands on the edge on the verge of falling disturbed, deranged he desperately seeks salvation but he is all alone

elusive-illusive

2006-03-07T02:01:00.000+08:00

why does she seem elusive? he is always waiting in her shadow ready with arms outstretched to break her fall even when she's near she's out of reach he can't cross the barrier which keeps them apart why does she seem illusive? destined forever to only exist in his dreams? not a second goes by without her on his mind he just cannot stop the rush of feelings he is falling deeper

subside

2006-03-06T01:57:00.000+08:00

had such difficulty lookin' for parkin' in jj on sat nite... and on sun afternoon... i had to get drenched as i resorted to parkin' outdoors in the rain... so anyway... i didn't buy anythin' as usual cos i don't shop at all besides gettin' toiletries and stationery... which don't run out so fast anyway... ninety percent of my visits (like on sat & sun) are because my friends wanted to shop... u could say i'm a social shopper... not even a window-shopper cos i don't bother lookin' at anythin on display anyway... ;) hope the new week will be a better one... especially for a friend of mine who has had a rough time over the past five days or so... comin' up are two tests... two assignments... nothin' i can't handle tho'... ;)

three a.m.

2006-03-05T02:43:00.000+08:00

haven't been sleepin' much lately... two or three hours less than the usual per night... nothin' serious really... have just been runnin' around and hangin' out a lot... it's three in the morn now... should be sleepin'... but i thought i'll just accompany my friend to chat for a while first :) well... my bro's got a blog! didn't expect him to start one... ;) keep it up!

clear

2006-03-04T01:49:00.000+08:00

for the record... i don't change my msn status... so whether i'm in or out... feel free to drop an im... just don't get agitated if there's no reply... which is when i'm out... but there'll be a reply if ur still online when i'm back... i had to finally type such a crappy post just to set things straight for some ppl who don't understand that although my pc is online 24/7... i am not... for example... i just got back home to see a rather sarcastic im from someone who doubted that i was actually not at my pc the whole day... and preferred to believe that i just didn't wanna reply... let me see... i woke up today... freshened up for a while... made my way downtown to visit a friend for six plus hours... came back home just for awhile to freshen up... headed off to take my math test... and then adjourned to a party... and finally i'm home at two in the a.m... so i think it's quite clear what i'm trying to say... gotta sleep now... tired out

desert

2006-03-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

under the scorching sun he traverses the blistering sand in the harsh sweltering heat he is overcome by thirst struggling along seeking refuge an oasis appears in the distance his hopes are raised rejuvenation beckons as he inches closer the sight slowly vanishes a mirage it is what will become of him?

hazardous

2006-03-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

some updates: my test is tomorrow and i am only going to start two chapters from scratch today :)

went to church a few hours ago for ash wednesday mass which marks the forty days of the lenten season before easter my friend must have had the unluckiest day... had a swollen eyelid in the morning due to an insect bite... and a swollen hand in the evening due to a sprain during a volleyball game... imagine going to the doc's twice in a day for separate injuries... unexpectedly unfortunate... slept for three hours only last night cos i was rushin' to finish my assignment none of the above stuff are actually interesting i think... if you're still reading... good :)

respite

2006-03-01T02:28:00.000+08:00

that's what this post is... a brief getaway from my unfinished assignment... circuits and simulations always create unwanted problems... oh... enough said... fellow serpents were over at my place... one to copy my circuit... and the other to give me the latest episode of prison break... which i am so tempted to watch now... but look at the time... i'll just have to finish my work first before anything else... mcd's for lunch and tea today... too much of a good thing is sickening... but the weather was so scorching hot i just had to take refuge in the cold-en arches... time to finish some dirty business...

but

2006-02-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

i'm trying hard to refrain from writing figuratively like i have been for the past week... but somehow i can express myself better that way i think... cos being direct has never been somethin' i'm good at? ah... just can't resist... here i go again... happy but sad here but there awake but dreaming hopeless but hopeful smiling but crying near but far warm but cold all but nothing

take a hike

2006-02-28T00:14:00.000+08:00

i got back home from jb at 2356hrs only to see my msn flooded with messages on the petrol hike from midnight today to 1.92 sen per litre... thats a friggin' 30 sen increase! what the.... it's too late for me to rush out jus to fill up now... i guess i'll have to pay the price tomorrow... since my tank is really empty and i procrastinated on fillin' up... with the hike... i'll have to hike more often from now...

the sweet sound

2006-02-26T03:11:00.000+08:00

fascinated by my bassist's creative muvo... the song in my ears? strange deja vu... i wish i had one of my own... then i could care less about all the noise around me... :)

paths

2006-02-25T04:15:00.000+08:00

the sky is overcast cumulonimbus clouds horizon is masked thick fog enshrouds the paths there are two which one shall he choose? the safe and sound route? the risky leap of faith?

between the lines

2006-02-24T01:14:00.000+08:00

the truth is i am not poetic at all hence five poems in this week alone means something is not quite right i could use a cup of cheer

summer

2006-02-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

summer is slowly slipping away green leaves are fading to brown what was once a sunny day is now turning into a cloudy one summer passed by in a blink of an eye before he knew it she was gone with the breeze like withering leaves in autumn he fell fast to the bottom summer was short and sweet but he didn't have enough of it now she's cold like the wind that blows and soon enough it'll start to snow summer doesn't know she will be missed he's hoping that she never has to leave as disappointed as he may be seasons change and so will she

tragedy

2006-02-23T15:03:00.000+08:00

a few days back... a friend of a friend met with a motorcycle accident and was hurt pretty badly... her motorcycle was in bad shape after that too... fractured wrist... nose... etc... and only just last night as i was havin' drinks in ayub pulai... a car and a motorycle collided with such a loud bang it startled everyone in the mamak... the rider flew off his bike and was terribly injured... blood was streaming down the road a dozen yards away from where i was seated... such a sad mishap... boy have i seen more accidents in my few years here than in my earlier years in ipoh... i think i've mentioned it before... and i'll say it again... people here are reckless...

anything

2006-02-23T02:16:00.000+08:00

he would give up anything... just to hear her sweet soft voice... just to catch a glimpse of her again... just for one more moment with her... he would do anything... just to caress her face... hold her tight in warm embrace... forever in this time and space... he would forgo anything... just to prove his love is true

without

2006-02-22T12:36:00.000+08:00

without her his life is sepia without her presence his heart's absent without her smile his soul cries without her voice he hears silence without her realising he watches her every step without her knowing he keeps her close at heart without her asking he lightens her burden without her it's a standstill

within

2006-02-22T03:39:00.000+08:00

within lies her true beauty within lies his hidden secret within lies her heart of purity within lies his earnest yearning within lies her unselfish being within lies his unspoken feelings within lies doubts unresolved within lies the truth yet unknown

acting like a robot...

2006-02-21T16:19:00.000+08:00

its metal brain corrodes... u try to take its pulse... before the head explodes...

for those non-metalheads out there... that's the second verse from megadeth's symphony of destruction... which we will be jamming tonight if all goes according to plan... finally my first round of tests are over... with robotics being the final paper today... hence the post title... ;) before i take a nap and play some guitar... here are some pix from the chinese new year last month...

for the love of metal

2006-02-19T23:20:00.000+08:00